I’m having my downstairs loo converted to a cloakroom. It’ll all be done in white, although I’m not sure if we’re having a white carpet. Probably not. Anyway, I want to call it The White Room. The fact that The White Room is incidental but it’s a cool name for a cloakroom isn’t it? Because I’m living in a democracy in this house, I doubt it’ll be called The White Room but The Cloak Room. Which untidily brings me to The KLF.

Whether or not they were in the music business for a laugh or not doesn’t matter. They loved pop music, understood it and made fantastic pop/stadium house/rave records. They pissed a few people off as well, which is always good when it’s the type of people you want to piss off, i.e. Brit art upstarts (Rachel Whitbread was awarded K Foundation’s prize for the worst art work), the music industry (firing blanks into the audience and dumping a dead sheep at the after-show party at the 1992 Brit Awards) and the general public when they did or didn’t burn a million quid. In a sense they were similar to Banksy, with their defacement of billboards and self promotion. But none of that matters to me, only the music, even if they are bored to death of making popular music.

Listening back to The White Room, you could be forgiven for thinking that the tracks The White Room and No More Tears could easily fit into today’s pop climate, and the hands in the air, housey piano vibes of Last Train To Trancentral or out-and-out rave of What Time Is Love?, knock spots of Dutch trance. To describe their music to those poor souls who haven’t heard it just imagine that you’ve died and come back to life in a damp field, somewhere in the north of England after a thunderstorm and the rays of sun are appearing. You get to your feet and hear this euphoric music and realise that there are millions of people in the field dancing, loved up, their worries far away in the previous world. That is the Church of The KLF.

So yes, The KLF are ace. Googling them will bring up all kinds of myths, rarities and stories.  And you’ll find The Manual: How to Have a Number One The Easy Way


I’m sure Simon Cowell has read it.